Harry Potter and the Holy Relic of Vecna
by Alteng
Summary: What happens when Hermione discovers the Holy Relic of Vecna. A series of short scenes. Read and review if you dare! In the process of a rewrite and adding more characters.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, here goes. My first Harry Potter story. This is frightening! This is a collection of various short scenes that have the common connection of the Holy Relic of Vecna. I didn't come up with these alone. Bill and I created the Holy Relic of Vecna (Judel perfected it), and James and I created the Harry Potter scenes with it! (We get bored at 3AM.)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and all the goodies that go with him. Vecna, Kas, and all the goonie followers belong to whoever created the Greyhawk & Raveloft D&D worlds.  
  
Harry Potter and the Hoy Relic of Vecna  
  
Prologue  
  
Long long ago and far far away in a distant time and dimension, there was born a terribly wicked child. Well, he was not born terribly wicked. Actually, he was a rather cute little baby with as bunch of goo-goo's and gah-gahs and the lot, but it didn't take long for his true self to shine through in that black light sort of way. It could have started off innocent enough like tying the bags to Mitts the cat's feet, then dissecting her dead body later that evening, but what ever the case may be. things just got worse from there. As time went on, Vecna got into things he shouldn't have. He did more than his fair share of studying of the dark arts and the forbidden magicks of necromancy and did some major world domination in the meantime. Oh well, that's how the ball rolls sometimes.  
  
He acquired himself some loyal henchmen and some weren't all that loyal. Plots flew, the dishes flew, the new cat went flying out the window. Goodbye, old Bill. Next! And not before too long, Vecna found himself quite a bit on the dead side of things. Oh well, he knew there was a reason for why he stuied necromancy in the first place. So, he returned to the world of the living as a not so alive necromancer. He did some more major death (and resurrect the dead body afterwards) and destruction (oh well, the dead could always put it back together, later). He went along his merry way, acquired a small following of devoted flunkies, and some were more devoted than others. He acquired a fondness for one of them and made him his very special General Kas. Well, Kas was a sneaky little fellow, and Fluffy the new cat didn't like him much either. He plotted some nasty little plots, had dear old Vecna blown to bit, leaving only a hand and an eye, that Vecna's devoted followers claimed and called holy relics. That was alright, he didn't need a body in the first place, and because of the strong devotion of his followers, he came back again, and he was none too happy with Kas. (Especially, since he needed yet another cat) Well, as time went by, other parts of Vecna's body showed up (Like fingers and toes, his nose, his tonsils . . . and other things left unmentioned), and those were called holy relics as well, but there was one special Holy Relic . . . 


	2. Chapter 1: Hermione

Disclaimer: I do not owe Harry Potter or any of his friends. They haven't been up for auction on Ebay lately. I don't own Vecna, and I don't think that I would want him!  
  
Chapter 1: Hermione  
  
The library was Hermione's favorite hangout. She was that priss little study all the time know it all type of girl. Today, she decided that after class she'd go to the library and check out that huge dusty volume of "The Big Book of Magical Items and Holy Relics" for some light reading. She'd been wanting to get her hands on this one for years. It was better the Sear/Roebuck's catalog, where the muggles could buy anything! Ron and Harry didn't know what they were missing out on. Boys! They were all just such immature little pains. She dropped the book on the table, and the vermin with scattered. Ignoring them (She'd seen worse in Snape's laboratory, and they claimed to be students!), she began to thumb through it. This was a witch's dream. Ah, what she wouldn't do to get her hands on one of these items. Finally, she came across two pages stuck together with a sickly ichor. She threw back her golden brown mane of hair and puzzled this. She gingerly and ever so carefully pulled the pages apart. Sure enough there was another item there. Her brows furrowed as she looked over the ancient text and the wonderfully accurate illustration. The Holy Relic of Vecna.  
  
"Hm," she mused, "I wonder what that's for and how you use it?" she queried to herself.  
  
An older girl looked over her shoulder and smirked. She whispered in Hermione's ear. Harry Potter's favorite female counterpart class mate turned 12 shades of red and exclaimed in no uncertain tones, "YOU DO WHAT WITH IT!!!" 


	3. Chapter 2: Ginny

Ooops! I made a boo-boo, and the story is under construction. Thanks, Catgirluh for pointing this boo-boo out. hagrid is bad enough with one chapter. Anyway, I am up to chapter 11 on edit.

Chapter 2: Ginny  
  
Soon the other girls of the school gathered around Hermione as she sat in the library pondering the item between the pages. They were all in awe and shocked by what they saw and heard about the said item. They chattered amongst themselves and giggled in that way that only as little school girls could. One little underclassman with flowing red hair pushed her way through the gathering crowd of girls to see what all the commotion and hubbub was about. It was Ron's little sister Ginny Weasely. She casually looked over Hermione's shoulder and at the picture and description in the huge dusty tome. She huffed and a smile crossed her lips.  
  
"Mum's got one of those," she exclaimed excitedly, "It takes four D batteries."


	4. Chapter 3: Hagrid

Chapter 3: Hagrid  
  
The big burly grounds keeper known fondly as Hagrid lumbered his way into the library and noticed all the girls gathered around his very special friend Hermione. Being rather a nosey "little" bugger, he swam his way through the giggling silly girls to come up on Hermione and her special find.  
  
"What do you have there, little master?" he boomed goodheartedly.  
  
The girl was startled and looked up at the giant. "Oh," she said, "I found this in this book. Have you ever seen anything quite like it."  
"And it is so big," another girl giggled.  
  
"Oh ho, you think that's big! I can show you one that is REALLY big!" he remarked. 


	5. Chapter 4: Malfoy

Chapter 4: Malfoy  
  
The young white blonde aristocratic boy known as Draco Malfoy was met with his two little flunky henchmen groupies Crabbe and Goyle. The two boys were raised in the right kind of family and knew who to properly follow . . . not that silly Potter boy. Crabble and Goyle, who were figuratively attached at the hip and often spoke as one entity were never seen apart, even when one had to use the lavatory. They had been on a special mission for their glorious master, and they had just returned with important news from the halls of Hogwarts.  
  
"Speak," Malfoy said.  
  
After the two boys did some panting and barking, as they answered their master, Crabbe remarked, "Hermione has found the listing for the most powerful item in the universe."   
  
"Yes, it is called the Holy Relic of Vecna," added the other.   
  
"We don't know what it does, but it must be really spefy," they said together.  
  
"Yes, yes. Whatever it does, we must find this . . . Holy Relic before that silly Potter does and use it to our best advantage," Malfoy ployed. 


	6. Chapter 5: Professor Snape

Chapter 5: Professor Snape  
  
Hermione borrowed that special book from the library after she and all the other giggling school girls were thrown out of the place for causing a ruckus. How embarrassing, thought Hermione, but this was all part of growing up. Thrown out of the library today, thrown out of the night the Leaky Cauldron tomorrow. She needed to investigate this thing about the Holy Relic further, and who best would know about it. As she wandered through the halls in deep thoughts on the subject, she came upon the tall dark stoic Professor Snape. Oh well, what the hey. His specialty was potions, but he knew other things.  
  
"Professor Snape?" Hermione queried.  
  
"Yes, Miss Granger?" he answered in that dry cold voice.  
  
"I was wondering if you could help me out on this item," she said as she showed him the item in the book.  
  
The cold stone chiseled features of the man changed for a moment to a bright cheerful expression, then it quickly returned to normal. "Well, Miss Granger, I lack personal experience with THAT particular relic . . . but I am well versed in such matters. Should you come across the Holy Relic, just stop by my office after school hours, and I will be more than happy to show you how to use it."  
  
Ever polite, Hermione smiled and said, "Thank you, Professor Snape." 


	7. Chapter 6: Dobby

Chapter 6: Dobby  
  
The nervous little elf stood before his master's son. Draco Malfoy had that look of serious determination and demand. Dobby had to fulfill it. He knew it. It was impossible. There was no way that he could help the boy to be the best in the school, be the most popular with the girls, stomp and smash the stuffings out of Harry Potter, and kill all the mudbloods and dominate all the muggles. He liked the muggles. They were silly folk. Oh well, what could a poor little masochistic elf do. He was pledged to Lucius Malfoy and the Malfoy family, and he had to do what master wanted.  
  
"Dobby, I want you to get that Holy Relic of Vecna before Potter gets it!" demanded Draco.  
  
Dobby's eyes grew wide and his ears stood up to attention. Did the master know? He repeated, "Pardon me, sir? Did you say you wanted the Holy Relic of Vecna?"  
  
"Yes, you numble brain!"  
  
"What would you, good master, or Harry Potter be wanting with THAT item?"  
  
"Never you mind, you nit. Can you do it?"  
  
"Well," the elf said after a moment's thought, "I have a cousin named Larry. He specializes in those kind of things. I'll see what I can come up with, sir." 


	8. Chapter 7: Professor McGongall

Chapter 7: Professor McGongall  
  
Professor Snape stood at his laboratory table and worked diligently on a particularly special evilly brewing and smelling potion. Hermione had brought strange things to light with her questions. A grey tabby jumped up on the table and eyed him curiously. She quickly got bored and made an insistent meow. The tall dark slithery professor ignored her. He was really caught up in his potion making. So, she did what all cats did when ignored. She swatted at the beaker, knocking it out of his hand for it to crash to the floor in a mess. Snape hissed a volatile curse.  
  
The cat changed into the formidable Professor McGongall, sitting across the table in a catty sort of way in front of the stoic stone faced Snape. He looked up from his ruined work at the catty somber woman on his work table.  
  
"How may I help you, my dear professor McGongall?" he asked coldly.  
  
"Did you tell Miss Granger anything about the Holy Relic of Vecna?" she demanded in a voice that dripped of ice.  
  
"Somewhat," he replied offhandedly.  
  
"You know it is forbidden to talk of such things. You've been very naughty," she pointed out, as she wagged a claw like finger at him. "You will have to be punished."  
  
A smile slithered across his face. 


	9. Chapter 8: The Holy Relic of Vecna

Chapter 8: The Holy Relic of Vecna  
  
Malfoy held the box that Dobby had gotten from his cousin Larry. The pale blonde youth stroked the box lovingly and had that meglomaniacal smile on his slithery lips. It was so much bigger than he ever had expected (and it was signed Judel on the bottom). His two cronies Crabbe and Goyle stood nearby. They looked on their master and his special little box, that came in a black plastic bag and they rubbed their hands with glee over the new toy.   
  
"How does it work?" they asked together.  
  
Malfoy shrugged. "I have no idea, but any self respecting wizard would have to find out. Once we do this, I will be the greatest wizard of all time. We will need to get ourselves a guinea pig."  
  
An evil glint lit three pairs of eyes with the identical thought. "Ron Weasley!" the three boys said together as one. 


	10. Chapter 9: Professor Dumbledore

Chapter 9: Professor Dumbledore  
  
Hermione knew if anyone knew anything about the Holy Relic of Vecna, it surely would be Professor Dumbledore. So, she decided to pay him a little visit. After a short time, she walked out of Professor's Dumbledore's office. Her normal well kept appearance was all in disarray. One sock hung limply down to her ankle, her hair was all messy and strayed in all directions, and her clothes were wrinkled and crumbled as if she had been through a harrowing experience.  
  
"I hope that answers your questions, Miss Granger," the professor said, as he appeared at the door. He smoothed out some the wrinkles from his robes and brushed stray hair from his face.  
  
"Yes, thank you professor," the ace student replied breathlessly, "It was most enlightening." 


	11. Chapter 10: Ron

Chapter 10: Ron  
  
The three Slithern boys snuck into the Gryffindor dorms of Hogwart with a large brown burlap sack in their possession. The young red headed teen known as Ron passed close by alone, and the sack was thrown over his head and body. Crabbe and Goyle carried his struggling whining body back to the Slithern dorms. No one noticed as they passed by on their way through the busy halls of Hogswart. Malfoy proceeded the group and gave a curt nod to Professors Flitwick and Sprout, as he passed them in the hall. The teachers gave them a peculiar glance, and then they returned to their discussion of new and unique uses for the maturing mandrake plants.   
  
They had their guinea pig. Malfoy was most pleased and eager to get started. The door of the young master's room slammed with an ominous bang, and soon terrifying screams from Ron were heard.  
  
"NO! No! Not that! What are you doing with that thing! Help! NO! Anything, but that! Noooooooooooooo!" he cried out. No one heard him. Soon the cries changed to "Yes! Yes! Please, more!" 


	12. Chapter 11: Nearly Headless Nick

Chapter 11: Nearly Headless Nick  
  
The ghostly form of Nearly Headless Nick floated about the halls of Hogswart. He was looking for his goldfish named Wanda, that was recently eaten by a python called Monty. Ginny came bouncing down the hall in her cheerful sweet manner. She was going to meet up with Hermione and discuss their findings on that interesting little relic. Ever so polite, Nick tipped his head to her.  
  
"Good evening, Miss Weasely. Have you seen my Wanda anywhere?" he asked.  
  
"I think she went to the little girl's room for a swim," the girl answered innocently.  
  
"Oh, I guess I need to give her her privacy. Darn."  
  
"Hey, Nick," the young girl asked as she held her thumbs behind her back, "Have you ever heard of the Holy Relic of Vecna?"  
  
For a ghost, with ghostly pallor, Nick was able to turn a whiter shade of pale. What were they teaching the children at this school nowadays! He replied, "Oh my! I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole!" Then he disappeared in a puff of 


	13. Chapter 12: Griffindor

Chapter 12: Griffindor  
  
Hermione and Ginny went to the painting of the fat lady at the entrance of the Griffindor dorm. They were chatting happily about the discoveries made in the library and other places. Neville stood at the dorm entrance and said the password "Wittlebird" to the painting, but nothing happened. His face flushed a deep red. he was certain that was the password this time!  
  
The giggling girls gently pushed him aside and announced proudly, "Vecna," and the portrait swung open.  
  
Neville looked confused and astonished all at the same time, then he hurried through the hole before the portrait closed up again.  
  
The portrait swung close after him. No one noticed the fat lady. She looked suddenly distressed, then surprised crossed her face. She rummaged in the background of the painting and returned with her very own Holy Relic of Vecna. A mischievous smile crossed her face as she lovely stroked the new object. 


	14. Chapter 13: The Dorm Meeting

Chapter 13: The Dorm Meeting  
  
Hermione and the other girls sat around in the Griffindor common room. They were having a round table forum over this Holy Relic. Giggling and laughing, Katie Bell leaned over and whispered in Angelina's ear. Angelina gave a girlie belly laugh and said,  
  
"Silly goose, you can't do THAT with it!"  
  
Trying to catch her breath, Katie turned to Hermione and whispered something in her ear. Hermione innocently smiled and responded,  
  
"Well . . . that IS true . . . but, it's not very practical." 


	15. Chapter 14: The Halls of Hogswart

Chapter 14: The Halls of Hogswart  
  
Ron had been let free from his confines in the Slytherin common room the previous night. The first thing in the morning, the red head pale lanky boy, seeming somewhat in a daze and with a glazed look in his eyes, was found wandering the halls of Hogswart in nothing but his sneakers and crying out, "Malfoy, Malfoy, is it time for some more experiments."  
  
No one paid him any mind and went on about their business as usual 


	16. Chapter 15: Quidditch

Chapter 15: Quidditch  
  
Come the weekend, a couple days after Hermione's amazing find, she, Ginny, and Ron were sitting in their seats and waiting for the quidditch match to begin. Ron had mysteriously disappeared for a couple of days, then reappeared. Hermione thought he acted kind of odd, and she asked Ginny about it. The younger girl shrugged and said,  
  
"Oh, that's just Ron. He gets that way sometimes."  
  
And nothing more was said about it.  
  
Madam Hooch raised her arms and cried out "Assume your positions, players."  
  
Hermione and Ginny applauded since this was the sign for the beginning of the games. Ron stood up and bent over. 


	17. Chapter 16: Madam Hooch

Chapter 16: Madam Hooch  
  
It had been a good day for quidditch. Harry was one hell of a seeker, and Gryfinddor had won again thanks to him. After her shower, she walked through the halls of the school for her room, when she ran into Professor McGongall.  
  
"Have you heard. One of the students has found the Holy Relic of Vecna!" McGongall told her.  
  
"Have they really, indeed!" she answered.  
  
"We must have a meeting in my office right away!"  
  
Madam Hooch smiled. "Yes, we must." 


	18. Chapter 17: The Peephole

Chapter 17: The Peephole  
  
Ron stood looking in a peephole and suddenly stood up with a look of complete amazement on his face.  
  
"It IS really big!" he exclaimed.  
  
Soon, Hagrid came out of the door as she shrugged on his coat and whistling. 


	19. Chapter 18: Filch and Mrs Norris

Chapter 18: Filch and Mrs. Norris  
  
Snape walked down the hall in his usual Snapey sort of way. Students fled from the sight of his imposing figure. He ran into Filch the caretaker and made a curt nod.  
  
"Good Morning, Filch, and how is Mrs. Norris this fine morning," he said in a rather cheerful voice.  
  
Filch look very puzzled and replied. "Uh . . . she's fine, sir. Why do you ask?"  
"Oh just asking," he answered with a slithery smile on his face, and he returned to his normal self and stormed down the hallway.  
  
Mrs. Norris rubbed his feline body against the older man's leg and purred. "Indeed," said the caretaker, something strange is afoot. I wonder if it has to do with the very odd object we found in the hall last nigh?" He rummaged through his coat and pulled out a Holy Relic of Vecna, "I think I must see Dumbledore right away." 


	20. Chapter 19: The Sleepover

Chapter 19: The Sleepover  
  
Many of the girls of the different houses got together for a sleep over this weekend. In school they had to be rivals, but after class they were a bunch of girls. Ginny arrived with Hermione and dropped her bag on the floor. Many girlie things fell out and a very interesting magazine included.  
  
One of the girls picked it up. "This is so cool. Warlock Wonders! Where did you ever get one of these."  
  
Ginny blushed a deeper red than her hair and replied. "Oh! That's not mine. It's Ron's!"  
  
Then she joined the girls in perusing it. 


	21. Chapter 20: Encounters

Chapter 20: Encounters  
  
The next day, Snape was back to his dour self. Professor McGongall cam into his office and cheerful left some paper work on his desk.  
  
"A little lizard told me that you and Madam Hooch were talking about the Holy Relic of Vecna," he accused with a pout.  
  
"Why, yes we have. Would you like to join us for our next meeting?"  
  
His eyes lit up. 


	22. Chapter 21: Dumbledore' Office

Chapter 21: Dumbledore's Office  
  
Filch took the Holy Relic of Vecna, that he found lying around in the hall to the headmaster of the school. It was Dumbledore's job to do the lost and found. He placed the large black box on the professor's desk, and explain the situation of finding it. Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully.  
  
"This is most important, Filch."  
  
"None of my business, sir, but what is this thing. It looks wicked."  
  
"Hmm, well, I guess I will have to let you in its secret since you are one of the most caretakers of the school."  
  
The door to Dumbledore's office slammed with a bang, and screams followed. Mrs. Norris stood outside and scratched at the door with a distressed meow. 


	23. Chapter 22: Chains

Chapter 22: Chains  
  
In the sub-basement of the sub-basement of the sub-basement was a dark of Hogswart, there was a dark and gloomy room. Ropes now stretched across the room, and hogtied in the middle of the crisscrossing ropes and suspended some feet above the ground was Professor Snape. He was gagged as well as bound.  
  
Mrs. Norris strutted her kitty cat strut across the floor. She gave a passing glance up at the tied man and meowed sweetly, then moved on. Through his gag, Professor Snape smiled. 


	24. Chapter 23: Lucius Malfoy

Chapter 23: Lucius Malfoy  
  
The tall sophisticated blond man stood in Dumbledore's office. He wondered what the hell did his boy get into this time and couldn't weasel his way out of. Dumbledore sat quietly behind his desk with his hands folded. A big black box was on the desk. Dobbie groveled at Master Malfoy's ankles and looked behind in a terrified manner.  
  
"The Holy Relic of Vecna was found. We believe that Draco may have found it," the headmaster spoke seriously.  
  
"What would my boy want with THAT relic? How would he come by it!" Lucius demanded.  
  
Dobbie turned alarming shades of red. "He asked for it, and I am obliged to serve, my lord," replied the trembling little elf.  
  
Lucius huffed. "Bad elf! Bad elf! You know what happens to bad elves?"  
  
"Noooo, master. Please, not that!"  
  
The two wizards acquired a pair of evil grins. 


	25. Chapter 24: Valdemort

Chapter 24: Valdemort  
  
The evil dark wizard pondered the big black box his good flunky just sent him. He opened it and a great expression joy, very rarely seen, crossed his face. He had just received the most powerful item in all the universes. Somehow, this changed everything. He no longer wanted to rule the world. He no longer wanted to kill all muggles. He stroked the item lovingly. He was content with his new magical item. 


	26. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
After all was said and done, Professor Dumbledore cast that specify forget spell, and everyone forgot all their experiences with the amazing Holy Relic of Vecna. Not that any one could tell the difference, but that was the nature of the spell, after all. The girls still got together in the library and giggled about nothing. Snape and McGongall, well, let's leave well enough alone. Malfoy and his cronies still wanted to captured Ron and do odd things to him. Yes, all was normal again.  
  
One day, Ron stood in front of the Mirror of Erised and saw his heart's greatest desire. There was Malfoy with the Holy Relic of Vecna.  
  
THE END  
  
. . . And my sincere apologies to J.K. ROwling. 


End file.
